i love happy is…

letting the tears flow freely,

and then…

feeling the laughter.

I was getting ready for the day when my 4-year-old, Kestan, greeted me with a grin.  He had a pink flower and scissors in his hand.  “Mommy, I cut a flower for you.  And…I cut Ashton’s hair!”

It was as if Ashton, my 20-month-old, was waiting for his cue.  Right then, as my brain was taking in what Kestan just told me, Ash came from around the corner, with the biggest smile on his face. The chunks and wisps of his hair were trailing on the ground behind him.

His baby hair…those golden, untamed, soft curls…gone.  Just. like. that.  From a curious brother and a $2 pair of kid scissors, Ashton’s first haircut spontaneously happened throughout the house and back yard.  As Kestan described, “I had to follow Ashton all around while I was cutting because he wouldn’t stand still.”

Although I’m smiling in these pictures, my first response to the news was shock, then sadness. I couldn’t help but let the tears well up and feel the pit in my stomach after finding my baby’s curls all over the house.  Luckily my husband was home when it happened.  So he stepped in while I stepped away to cry.  I needed time to process what had just happened.  I needed time to reflect on why it mattered.  Why was I so attached to the baby curls?  What was I holding on to?

Kestan was so proud of his work, so we explained to him why mommy was sad, but also made sure we gave him the love and attention he needed, too. Cutting his brother’s hair wasn’t necessarily a “bad” thing.  It was obvious he took a lot of time with the cutting, and he was pretty darn dedicated to doing it well, considering he cut off every last curl!  We could see that from Kestan’s perspective, he thought he was doing something special for his brother. After all, his finishing touch was putting a flower behind Ashton’s ear.

That’s what we will remember most. The flower. The love and care Kestan genuinely showed his brother.  And the fact that his experimentation with scissors gave Ashton a first haircut we will always look back and laugh about.

Now that it’s been a few weeks since the actual cutting, I have stopped visualizing the halo of blond curls around Ashton’s head when I look at him. He does look older.  He even seemed to act differently from the very moment his curls hit the ground.  And that’s ok.  It’s the fact of life right?

Our kid’s try things.  They grow up.  And life is ever changing.  Surprising us with each new day. This particular moment was yet another simple reminder that it’s not really what happens in every given day, but rather how we react to what life throws our way.  In the small and the not so small moments – it’s what we think, say and do that makes all the difference in the world.  It’s the love and care we show others (and ourselves).  And it’s our ability to laugh after the tears that helps us practice letting go and moving on.

After it’s all said and done, sometimes ya just gotta laugh about it.

Your Personal Reflection:

What moments in your life seemed sad and frustrating when they happened, however, when you stepped away and let time pass, you could actually see the hidden laughter and joy?  Notice your reaction to every day moments and see if you can laugh a little more today.

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