Tonight before bedtime I had two naked boys running around the house.

The diaperless 2-year-old was left alone for a few minutes in his room, only to be discovered moments later smearing poop into the carpet.

My bed was covered with unfolded clothes and instead of taking the time to fold them, this tired pregnant mama (of another boy!) threw them on the floor to deal with tomorrow.

The art room was left with scraps of paper and markers thrown about.

Not all evenings are like this.  But, tonight just happened to be one of them.

And that’s just part of being a mom.

Being a mom is a lot of work.  I never knew what to expect before becoming one.  Does anyone really?  But once you do discover what’s on the other side of birthing a child, you find you have a common bond with all the mothers before you – a camaraderie of sorts – a secret knowing what this job is really like.  You become part of the mama club.

When you are a member of the mama club, you don’t have to explain the rewards of being a mom.  You don’t have to explain the joys.  You don’t have to explain the challenges.  We moms are fully aware of them all.

And sometimes we get super busy.  We get caught up in “keeping up” – trying to be like others or just trying to make it through the day.  We put on that face.  You know…the one that tells the world,  Everything is just fine. But sometimes…it just isn’t.  And no matter what…we need each other.  We need to know we’re not alone.  We need to slow down. We need to rest.  We need time with friends. We need wine or dark chocolate.  We need reality TV.  We need a good book, a good laugh, a good bubble bath or a retreat away from it all.

Sometimes we need to shed our doubts.  Sometimes we need to cry.  Sometimes we need to laugh our asses off.

Sometimes we need to reconnect to our intuition, express our creativity, get messy, and live out our hidden dreams.

Sometimes we just need to mother our OWN hearts.

And that’s what Mothering with heART is about – taking time for ourselves and learning how to integrate the need for creativity, downtime, play and FUN into our daily lives while raising children.  And when we learn to nourish our own souls each day, we are nourishing our children’s souls, too.  Because that’s the cool thing about being a mom.  We’re bonded to these little people.  And they sense when we are happy.  They learn from our example.  So the more we return to our true selves and our authentic way of being in the world, we end up passing that on to our kids.  And that means more inner peace, love, joy and happiness for us all!

I’m incredibly honored and excited to share with you a group of AMAZING moms, business women, writers, artists, life coaches and much more who are sharing parts and pieces of their mothering journey with us in my newest online experience, Mothering with heART. Check out the link below to meet them!

And the best part is, many of these contributors have a SPECIAL giveaway just for YOU!  Check out these incredible gifts below.  All you have to do for your chance to win one is:

1)  take a moment to leave a comment on this blog post by Monday, May 20th, 2013.

2) for another entry, stop by and like A Free Spirit Life Facebook page. Already a fan or don’t use Facebook?  That’s ok…simply share the link about Mothering with heART with your friends and let me know about it.  I’ll enter you in the drawing a second time!

 The giveaways include:

Win a spot in the upcoming e-course, Sexy, Raw & Radiant – from Mothering with heART contributors Stephanie Perkinson and Leah Kent.

Win a spot in the upcoming e-course, Dream Lab – from Mothering with heART contributor, Amy Bowers.

Win a copy of the book, Sacred Pregnancy (AND the magazine!) – from Mothering with heART contributor, Anni Daulter.

Win a FREE ebook, “How to Navigate your Biz While Staying True to You” (to be released in June) – from Mothering with heART contributor, Megan Monique.

 Win a $25 gift certificate for the natural online store, Hip Mountain Mama – from Mothering with heART contributor, Suzy Hawbaker.

Win a FREE ebook, Lemonade & Fireflies: Inspiration for a Magical Summer – from Mothering with heART contributor, Shawn Ledington Fink.

Win a FREE copy of the new WishstudioPress zine, Glitter & Grunge - from Mothering with heART contributor, Mindy Tsonas.

Win 4 100% cotton naturally dyed handkerchiefs – from Mothering with heART contributor, Jennifer Schmitz.

Win a spot in the first ever, Mothering with heART e-course – from me.

Leave your comment NOW for your chance to win!  I’ll announce a winner on Monday, May 2oth.

AND…from now through May 20th, you can register for Mothering with heART at the discounted price of $59!

To register visit:  Mothering with heART Special Discount.

Your Personal Reflection:

What does “mothering with heart” or “mothering YOUR heart” mean to you?

Loving fully, finding beauty in the struggle, embracing your intuition, expressing your creativity, being aware of your children’s changing needs, making space for what matters most to you, and building the courage to live your authentic life – that’s what Mothering with heART is all about.

Let’s shed the doubt and remember to TRUST ourselves as mothers.
Let’s treat ourselves with kindness and offer support to others.
Let’s share, grow and learn together – as we continue embracing the true gift of motherhood.
Let’s raise our children the way we feel is best for them and best for us.
And let’s make sure we are taking care of our health, well-being and creativity along the way.

Introducing my newest e-course experience:  Mothering with heART

I’m SO excited to share this with you!

Please check out all the details on my website by clicking below:

Mothering with heART

the new online course to celebrate the mother in you

In honor of Mother’s Day, I’m offering a special discount for this new course now through Sunday, May 12th, midnight C.S.T. Rather than paying full price, for this limited time, you can register for the 4-week online experience for only $49!

Gift certificates for the special mothers in your life are also available!

Registration now open!

Summer session dates: July 8th – August 2nd, 2013

Whether you are expecting your first baby, you are a mom of young children, your kids are teens or just went off to college, NOW is the time to take better care of YOU, so you can keep being the mother (and woman) you want to be in the world. Mothering with heART will give you the inspiration, time for reflection and connection to community that will enrich your life and awaken your creative soul!

Wishing you peace, love and JOY this Mother’s Day!

***This special discount has ended.***

Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.

~ Steve Maraboli

Many of us are craving spring.

I know I am.

It’s hard not to.

After weeks of snow, snow and MORE snow…I’m craving the new season.  I want to open the windows.  I want to smell the fresh air.  I want to feel the warm sunshine on my skin.

But the cravings I have aren’t fitting in well with the 6 more inches of snow we just got.  Or with the fact that the boys have been sick the last few days.  So any plans I had were pretty much replaced with wipes, diaper cream, no chicken noodle soup and laundry.

This past weekend reminds me that there are things out of my control. And although I can’t control everything, I can learn how to stop craving something beyond my control.

It seems like the more I crave something, the less OK I am with the present moment.  Because I’m wanting what IS to be different.  I want winter to go away, dang it!!!  But I can resist and fight it, or simply get over the fact that I can’t change the weather.

Our routine has been thrown out the window.  Any hopes of outdoor picnics and zoo visits are shot.  And the things I really want to do – like work on my e-course, write, paint, go to yoga, play in the warm sunshine – has been put on hold.

So in the midst of caring for sick kids, I knew that I had to get out, even if just for a few minutes. While the boys were napping yesterday, my husband and I ran out into the snow to take pictures.

We jumped.  We ran.  We laughed.

And I felt so alive and so free.  This was the recharge I needed to carry me through the rest of the sick, snow day.

The snow has dropped.  My babes are sick.  I can’t change the weather.  I can’t keep the boys from ever catching a stomach bug.  But, I know spring will come – in its own time, in its own way.

And while I learn how to wait patiently,  I can stop resisting.  I can stop craving something that is out of my control.  I can stop putting my energy in the wrong places.  I can remember that I do have the power to change many things in my life.  And when I remember that…I am free.

Your Personal Reflection:

What is holding you back?  Are you trying to control something that is uncontrollable?  Can you let go of the things that are out of your control, and take charge of the things you can change? Start making those changes TODAY, and soon, you will see the true gifts that the much-anticipated new season will bring.

To find your own way is to follow your bliss. This involves analysis, watching yourself and seeing where real deep bliss is — not the quick little excitement, but the real deep, life-filling bliss.

~ Joseph Campbell

I have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that spring break is next week.  After two full weeks of major snowstorms, I’m still habitually wearing my heavy winter coat and boots. We’ve really had an amazing winter. Here are a few scenes from our new yard and neighborhood (which by the way, we have fully come to love).

After running e-courses the last 5 months, I’ve felt a deep desire to unplug. I just haven’t been motivated to post much on Facebook or Twitter. I’ve had a hard time returning to my blog.  I’ve had to really limit how much information I take in these days, too.  Do you ever feel that way? You hop onto Facebook only to feel distracted and confused after wasting away several minutes reading about your friend’s dog and what kind of coffee they had at breakfast? And don’t you find it so easy to slip into that whole comparing your life to all those over-achiever-can-do-it-all-type-A’s who seem to always share the perfect quote, and have time to write the perfect blog posts, and somehow find space to paint those amazing, gallery worthy paintings?

I’ve been so consumed by mommy-hood these days that I have to admit my creative projects have been pushed to the wayside.

And then, when I clear my head and get enough sleep and snap out of it, I remember.

There is no “perfect.”

There is no room for “comparing” myself to others.

There’s no reason to judge.

I am enough and whole and complete – right here and now.

And so are YOU.

Mommy-hood is my creative project.

It’s where I find my JOY.

It’s where I laugh (most days).

It’s where I cry (happy and sad tears).

It’s where I feel.

It’s where I grow.

It’s where I play.

It’s where I connect.

It’s where I express.

It’s where I remember…

that where I am in my life, in this very moment, is right where I need to be.

I am the creator of my life.  And so are YOU.

And even though I am yearning, longing and needing…more downtime to read, to write, to paint, to simply…be alone…

I know that I can make that happen.  Because this is my one life.  I’m choosing to create it and I’m choosing to find my own way.

Your Personal Reflection:

Do you find it easy to be swayed or influenced by the people in your life?  Are you yearning, longing and needing downtime to clear your mind?  Take this time as the new season is slowly emerging, to clear the distractions in your life that keep you from hearing the messages in your heart.  When you get quiet, and really deeply listen…you will find your own way, too.

Mothering with heART Update:

I am walking down a new path towards creating my Mothering with heART e-course while I continue to learn how to mother my own heart. And to do this, I need YOU. We mothers need to bond together. Community is an important part to our growth and self-discovery, and I hope you will consider joining my new online Mothering with heART community. It’s a very special place for moms, moms-to-be, and grandmothers – where you can be yourself. (Yes, it’s on Facebook and yes, we talk about our dogs, our kids and our favorite coffee…but it gets deeper than that.  It’s a place to feel compassion and support and to most importantly…remember you aren’t alone.)

Join us by visiting:  Mothering with heART Private Community.

Being a mother is not about what you gave up to have a child, but what you’ve gained from having one.

~Sunny Gupta

Any mother will tell you that raising children is the. greatest. JOY. in. the. world.

And that statement is usually followed by:  it’s also the. toughest. job. in. the. world.

Being a mama is full of celebrations AND it comes with its own set of challenges.  It can be tiring work.  And it offers abundant opportunities to practice patience, deep breathing and letting go of perfect!

As I simplify in the New Year, I’m feeling nudged, urged, gently pushed and practically kicked in the rear to keep clearing distractions so that I can continue nurturing & integrating mindful mothering and mindful living into my daily life.

Today, I’d like to introduce you to a mindful mama who I find to be very inspiring.  I met Shawn Fink on Twitter and we connected instantly.  She is the creator of The Abundant Mama Project – which totally speaks my language!  Her e-course reminds us busy, overwhelmed, JOY-filled, exhausted, happy mamas on how to find GRATITUDE in the middle of all those parenting celebrations AND challenges.

Now who couldn’t use an extra dose of gratitude, love and peace?

Shawn participated in my Outside In: A Return to Stillness e-course, and that’s really where I learned more about who she is and her passions of connecting and inspiring mothers.  If this course speaks to you, then dance on over and see what Shawn is up to.  I’ll be joining her on the next journey of The Abundant Mama Project, and it couldn’t come at a better time.

Click here to visit Awesomely Awake.

Being a mother IS a JOY.

Being a mother can be tough.

And being a mother is the greatest gift and the greatest job in the world.

Your Personal Reflection:

I find that when I get caught up in the stress, worry and the challenges of life, I feel better when I return to the gratitude I feel in my heart.  What are you grateful for in this moment?  

We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.

~ George Bernard Shaw

I’m so enjoying the December e-course, Outside In: A Return to Stillness. It’s kind of turned into a spiritual journey for me. It’s amazing what happens when you focus daily on creating a moment of stillness in the midst of a seemingly crazy time of year.

I’m not only experiencing more peace, but I notice I’m having a lot more FUN (while shedding those thoughts and behaviors that create stress). I’m totally soaking up the love that comes from the spirit of the holidays.

Yesterday, I had a fake “snow day” with my boys. We stayed home all day in our jammies, playing games and making art by the fire. It was just one of those days I’ll never forget.  Not a care in the world. The only thing missing was real snow. But that didn’t even matter. It was the pure JOY of a snow day that swept us up in the moment. We threw away the agenda and for one day – we weren’t tethered to any “to do” list.

Just us. Playing, laughing, singing, and celebrating BEING together.
And that’s what this season really means to me.

How are you feeling? Are you in need of a break from your list?  Find peace through play and plan a snow day of your very own!

Here is the post from Outside In: A Return to Stillness Day 11:

Plan a Snow Day

It doesn’t matter if you don’t get snow where you live. Even if you live on the beach or are in the southern hemisphere right now – anyone can enjoy the pure joy that comes from a good old-fashioned snow day!

One of my favorite memories as a kid was that feeling of getting out of bed especially early on a dark, cold winter morning – the anticipation of a snow day making it too hard to sleep.

The snow is coming down. And you watch, as the school closings run across the TV screen, while the meteorologist talks about how bad the roads are.

You wait.
You pray.
You wait some more.

And then…you see it.

You rub the sand out of your eyes just to make sure.

Your school has been one of the lucky ones…cancelled for the day!

YES!!! IT’S A SNOW DAY!!!!

And that’s when the FUN begins.

The thing that makes a snow day so fun, is that you get to throw away the agenda. You are gifted with a full day of no plans. A full day to be at home with the ones you love most. A full day to change things up. A full day to be spontaneous.  A full day for…PLAY!

When I was a kid our snow days usually consisted of playing outside for a good part of the morning – making snow people, going sledding, building snow forts… We’d warm up by the fire with hot chocolate and marshmallows. We’d bake cookies, listen to music, play games, make popcorn and watch movies. Warm, snuggly jammies were a must. These times were fun, memorable and oh so very special.

Don’t you think it’s time for a snow day?

Watch this video: How to Make a Snow Angel for inspiration!

Your Daily Gift:

Someday this week, “plan” your own snow day. Set some time aside – a few hours or even a full day – and reserve it for spontaneous play! What would YOUR kind of snow day look like? Throw out the agenda and “to do” list and find peace through PLAYING!

Your Moment to Share:

Post a photo on our A Free Spirit Life Facebook page and show us what you did for your “snow day”.

Peace and love to you today, and always.

Be well…
Shannon xo

* Photo by Chris Duh.

It’s hard to believe that it’s been two years since I wrote about the day I gave birth to this little dude.  Now he’s a big boy who tells jokes and makes us laugh and sings songs and loves kicking balls and loves giving joy-filled, wet kisses and after this day, loves eating cupcakes – or rather loves licking frosting.

Happy Birthday Ashton!

You are a shining light in our lives and we are so blessed to be your family.

Thirty Days of Giving Thanks starts November 1st!

It’s free, it’s fun and very simple – just take a moment each day in November to thank someone in your life. Thank 30 people in 30 days and watch the blessings unfold.

Your Personal Reflection:

Birthdays or not, each day is worth celebrating.  What will you celebrate today?

letting the tears flow freely,

and then…

feeling the laughter.

I was getting ready for the day when my 4-year-old, Kestan, greeted me with a grin.  He had a pink flower and scissors in his hand.  ”Mommy, I cut a flower for you.  And…I cut Ashton’s hair!”

It was as if Ashton, my 20-month-old, was waiting for his cue.  Right then, as my brain was taking in what Kestan just told me, Ash came from around the corner, with the biggest smile on his face. The chunks and wisps of his hair were trailing on the ground behind him.

His baby hair…those golden, untamed, soft curls…gone.  Just. like. that.  From a curious brother and a $2 pair of kid scissors, Ashton’s first haircut spontaneously happened throughout the house and back yard.  As Kestan described, “I had to follow Ashton all around while I was cutting because he wouldn’t stand still.”

Although I’m smiling in these pictures, my first response to the news was shock, then sadness. I couldn’t help but let the tears well up and feel the pit in my stomach after finding my baby’s curls all over the house.  Luckily my husband was home when it happened.  So he stepped in while I stepped away to cry.  I needed time to process what had just happened.  I needed time to reflect on why it mattered.  Why was I so attached to the baby curls?  What was I holding on to?

Kestan was so proud of his work, so we explained to him why mommy was sad, but also made sure we gave him the love and attention he needed, too. Cutting his brother’s hair wasn’t necessarily a “bad” thing.  It was obvious he took a lot of time with the cutting, and he was pretty darn dedicated to doing it well, considering he cut off every last curl!  We could see that from Kestan’s perspective, he thought he was doing something special for his brother. After all, his finishing touch was putting a flower behind Ashton’s ear.

That’s what we will remember most. The flower. The love and care Kestan genuinely showed his brother.  And the fact that his experimentation with scissors gave Ashton a first haircut we will always look back and laugh about.

Now that it’s been a few weeks since the actual cutting, I have stopped visualizing the halo of blond curls around Ashton’s head when I look at him. He does look older.  He even seemed to act differently from the very moment his curls hit the ground.  And that’s ok.  It’s the fact of life right?

Our kid’s try things.  They grow up.  And life is ever changing.  Surprising us with each new day. This particular moment was yet another simple reminder that it’s not really what happens in every given day, but rather how we react to what life throws our way.  In the small and the not so small moments – it’s what we think, say and do that makes all the difference in the world.  It’s the love and care we show others (and ourselves).  And it’s our ability to laugh after the tears that helps us practice letting go and moving on.

After it’s all said and done, sometimes ya just gotta laugh about it.

Your Personal Reflection:

What moments in your life seemed sad and frustrating when they happened, however, when you stepped away and let time pass, you could actually see the hidden laughter and joy?  Notice your reaction to every day moments and see if you can laugh a little more today.

Life moves pretty fast.  You don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

-Ferris Bueller

I woke up in the middle of the night.  You know, those kinds of nights where the thoughts running through your mind steal your precious moments of deep sleep.  Awake.  Eyes wide open. Watching the moonlight casting shadows on the wall through the shutters.  Listening to the sounds of my beautiful boys and husband breathing peacefully beside me.  Feeling grateful for their beating hearts.  Feeling grateful for my beating heart.  Loving those baby feet in my face. Knowing that these moments are precious.  These moments are fleeting.  These moments are happening right now.

And a quiet, yet very clear whisper spoke to me.  Let go of distractions.  Let go of distractions. Let go of distractions.

I let out a sigh of relief.  Ahhhhhh.  Yes….this sounds nice.

If you are a mother, you know how hard it is to not be a professional multi-tasker!  Heck, even if you don’t have kids…you are wildly busy too!  Who isn’t?  That seems to be the nature of our world, doesn’t it?  go…gO…GO…and don’t you dare stop because when you do you’ll finally see and feel and sense how incredibly exhausted, overextended, overcommitted and distracted you really are…  Let go of distractions.  (Here’s a video I created last year called: Find Stillness in this Go, Go, Go World.)

If you’ve read my blog for a while, you know this seems to be a reoccurring theme for me. Slowing down.  Clearing clutter.  Letting go…

And I find it takes practice.  A lot of practice.  I move slower.  I let my heart lead the way.  I let go of the “to do” list.  And then…eventually…the rushing, the stress and the “to do’s” creep back in. Practice.  Breathe.  Let go of distractions.

I have felt a major shift lately, though.  A shift in how I view my life.  A shift in consciousness maybe?  Who knows…  Maybe it’s just that I tire more easily these days.  Maybe it’s because I see how fast my kids are growing.  Maybe it’s because I see my parents and everyone in my life getting older.  Life truly is moving faster than I want it to.  But I know in my body and soul that the more I resist that simple fact, well, the grumpier I get.  And that’s when I miss out on those special moments happening right before my eyes.

What I know is that I like doing one thing at a time whenever possible.  I like moving slower.  My shoulders relax. My worry lines soften.  I laugh more.  And I play more too.  I feel more gratitude and have more compassion when I take time to notice the little things.  The list still seems to get done (well parts of it anyway).  And the more I let go of distractions, the better we ALL seem to feel.  Daily life just feels happier and is a lot more fun, too.

Sure, I still have many things on my list.  But the urgency to get them all done RIGHT NOW lessens the more present I become.  So when I hear, ”Mommy, will you play dress-up with us?” my new mantra, Let go of distractions, gently reminds me not to miss out on the love that is always there, RIGHT NOW, in front of me.  It’s up to me to be present enough to see it.

Yes, we all have a million things we want to do in a day and in this lifetime, yet the more mindfully we walk, the more open our hearts will be to receive the gifts life has to offer.

Give all the mothers you know big hugs this weekend.  Thank them for the love and joy and care they share with the world.  And if you are a mother, give yourself a break and a big hug, too! You are doing enough.  You ARE enough.

In honor of Mother’s Day, let’s turn off our cell phones, unplug our computers and clear the agendas so we can enjoy the special moments that come from simply being together.

Your Personal Reflection:

Relax.  Breathe.  Smile.  Be grateful for the gifts in your life.  And practice letting go of the distractions that keep you from being fully present with the world.

Inside Out: A Creative Adventure of Self-Discovery e-course registration is now open.  The early bird special runs now through the end of May.

Even a stone, and more easily a flower or a bird, could show you the way back to God, to the Source, to yourself.  When you look at it or hold it and let it be without imposing a word of mental label on it, a sense of awe, of wonder, arises within you.  Its essence silently communicates itself to you and reflects your own essence back to you.  -Eckhart Tolle

I’ve written a little about this subject before - the uncertainty that comes up for me when mothering a child who our society labels as “shy.”  People used to say this about me.  ”Oh, you’re just being shy.”  I think I got so used to the label that I ended up becoming that, even though my memories of elementary school were ones of being funny, outgoing and extroverted in class.  That was until about 3rd grade when Mrs. Ralston would punish me for laughing by making me clap the erasers out on the fire escape!  I learned how to keep quiet to please the teachers.  And eventually by the time high school rolled around and my family had moved to two different states in two years, well I guess you could say I became pretty darn “shy.”  Yes, I was quiet in class.  I had self-doubt.  But now as I mother a child who is innately reserved and cautious, I am seeing that as others label us as “shy,” I think that description limits the gifts we are here to share.

We live in a world that values accomplishment, extroverts, busy lives, and boisterous, easygoing personalities.  We don’t know what to do with quiet.  We fill up the silence.  So when we meet someone who is an observer, a listener, and more reserved…we label them as “shy” because we don’t know how to handle them.  Their quiet nature makes us feel uncomfortable.  And yet, what I’m learning is that people who seem more quiet and reserved up front have an inner peace about them that is comforting.  There is usually a lot going on inside their hearts and minds.  And if you take the time to let them warm up, you are often introduced to a gentle person who is a joy to be around and amazingly observant.  I really resonate with people who listen well.  Who take time to notice the world around them.  Who take everything in.  Who process and are curious and study and who ask questions and who think and feel from an internal, quiet place.  I think that’s what I did naturally as a kid, and people called me “shy.”  I think that’s what my son does, too.

So I’m learning as I observe my little 4-year-old that he is extremely reserved in new situations.  He studies the kids.  He watches the teachers.  He’s so sweet and kind.  He smiles.  He nods his head.  He sometimes bounces up and down when he’s really excited to let the people know he’s interested and having fun, even though he may not feel comfortable using his words yet.  He’s precious.  He’s a joy. And this is just how he is.  He’s communicating in his own way. And the teachers or other kids in art class or gymnastics may have no clue that this little dude has been talking since he was 9 months old, but isn’t that ok?  We need a balance of boisterous and quiet right? And I do not need to label his behavior as anything else.  Because when I do I take away the special gifts that make him…him.  He needs to take it all in.  And in his own time, he warms up and as he says, “gets more comfortable.” Why do we feel the need to label and judge his process?

I’m getting quite used to being the only mom that stays by her kid’s side in the class (at his request). And the teacher usually has the perfect solution.  She tells me, “Next time, you just push him through the door and go run and hide.  We know where to find you if we need you.”  And sometimes I sit there agreeing with the teacher.  Oh, well she must know right?  I mean, she works with kids all the time. Surely she knows how to handle the “shy” ones, too.  Maybe it is me?  Maybe I’m enabling him.  What is wrong with me!  What is wrong with him!  Why can’t he just go have fun and be like all the other kids in class?  Why can’t I go hang out with the other moms and drink my coffee while we peer in through the window?  WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?!

I think calling him “shy” in the way our society uses that word is placing judgment on his natural way of seeing and being in the world. It says that being extroverted, doing what the teacher says and fitting in is the “right” way to be, and being quiet, not feeling comfortable with the teacher and not wanting your mommy to leave your side, is the “wrong” way to be.  Talk, comply, outgoing…good. Quiet, cautious, shy…bad.

So my practice these days as a mother is to TRUST that my sweet little boy is complete and whole and wonderful JUST AS HE IS.  To stop labeling.  To stop thinking something is wrong with us.  And to treat each new situation and each new person we meet with kindness and compassion. Sure, I may still be the only mom in class, walking along the side of the balance beam until my son gets more comfortable.  And it’s up to me to stay connected to my intuition – that place that guides me to mother from my heart.  The teachers may have had years of experience working with all types of kids, and I know I have a lot to learn from their expertise.  But in the end, we truly are enough – just as we are – and my heart knows the path that is best for me.  I know that I can nurture and support my son, but like a flower, I can not force him to bloom before he’s ready.

Let’s stop labeling ourselves, our children and the people we meet as right or wrong, good or bad, outgoing or shy…  Let’s let go of our judgments.  Let’s stop being so darn hard on ourselves!  Let’s embrace our differences!  Let’s let our own personalities shine, and not try to be something we think we should be, but rather become who we are in each new moment.

YOU and me (and our children) are completely beautiful and wonderful – just as WE are.

Your Personal Reflection:  

Become more aware of the labels you use to describe yourself, and your kids, and the world around you.  What would happen if you could let go of those labels, and let your true gifts shine, so that you can become who you are?