tag archives: create the life you love

when you feel like you don’t belong

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You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.

~ Maya Angelou

I went to a party recently and old feelings of not being “part of the group” came up.

Do you ever feel that way?

Have you ever been in a group but feel like you don’t really belong?  Or that you are on the outside looking in? Or that you just don’t fit in?

Those are the feelings that came up after trying to talk with someone at the party who puts off this vibe that she doesn’t want to talk to me.  This wasn’t the first time I’ve tried talking with her and I leave the conversation feeling the same way every time.

My old self may have obsessed about this experience with thoughts like, What is wrong with me?  Why doesn’t she like me?

It felt quite liberating that when those old feelings did indeed come up, I was able to laugh (not instantly, but soon after) and remind myself, Shan, not everyone needs to like you.  And just because she doesn’t want to talk to you doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you.

I was happy to see that rather than obsessing about it for days and wondering What can I do to make her like me?, I was able to realize that it’s not me, it’s her thing.  I was able to let those negative thoughts go and stay grounded and kind towards myself (and her).  Instead of letting my mind call her names or talk badly about myself, I simply became aware of the emotional trigger.  Old feelings of “not being good enough” crept in, and yet, I let those feelings come – and here’s the big thing – I let those feelings go.

So often we experience highs and lows in our day.  We meet a variety of people.  Some we click with and some we don’t.  And it’s so easy to focus on the lows or the difficult people.  The highs feel good.  When you are feeling great and you are in your comfort zone or surrounded by your peeps – ah – easy.  But when you are feeling insecure or find yourself in a new experience – ugh – it can be tough sometimes.

It sucks when you feel like you don’t “fit in”.

It hurts when it feels like others are deliberately excluding you.

Making assumptions about what the other person is thinking or feeling doesn’t help the situation. It’s good to speak up when you need to, especially when you want clarification or find yourself in a situation where someone isn’t treating you kindly.

When we worry about stuff that happens and can’t LET IT GO…that takes up mental and emotional space (and often times physical – look around your house – what stuff are you still holding onto?). The space in our minds or in our hearts (or in our homes) gets filled up with negative thinking and old habits (or junk) that ultimately creates blocks (and dust).  It becomes quite draining.

Those mental and emotional blocks depletes our vital energy.

Stop worrying about what others think of you.  You won’t always feel like you belong.  And that’s ok. You will find your tribe.  In the meantime, don’t change yourself to “fit in” but rather, be yourself.  And be kind to yourself along the way.

Let it go.

Let it go.

Let it go.

Becoming yourself is part of the journey.  Embrace who you are.  Who you really are.  You are complete and whole and imperfect and that’s what makes you…YOU.

Your Personal Reflection:

Are you wasting your time and energy obsessing about the past?  Or worrying about what others think of you?  What negative thoughts or old habits are depleting your vital energy?  Take a moment to observe something in your life that you are ready to let go of.  Take a deep breath.  Exhale.  Close your eyes.  Smile softly.

And remember, you are enough.  
It’s time to let your inner beauty out into the world.

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your life is an adventure

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We never quite know where our life path will take us next.
Get your helmet on and as best you can…enjoy the ride.
Your Personal Reflection:

Adventures can be exhilarating, but the unknown of what’s to come can be really scary.  What part of the adventure are you on today?  Are you feeling excited about the new things emerging in your life?  Or are you scared as hell?  A little of both?

What can you do – in this moment – to prepare for the adventure you’re on and to face the fear of not knowing how it will unfold?

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learning how to shed self-doubt

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This is me, making my latest video, while the kids watched an episode of Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood.  One take, unedited and thankfully I had the stuffed sheep as my sit-in so I could set the focus!  It’s all a part of being a mom

Are you in need of some quiet or inspiration or a boost to your energy? Take a few minutes to watch the video I made just for YOU.

In the video I share part of my story, what brought me to this moment and why I created A Free Spirit Life and Inside Out: A Creative Adventure of Self-Discovery.

I share how I’m learning to shed outward distractions, negative thinking and old habits. I share how I let self-doubt grip me for years. And how I learned to release those inner fears so I stopped believing “I wasn’t good enough” and started embracing a life that is truly unlimited.

You can overcome the obstacles keeping you stuck.
You can learn to embrace the mess and imperfections.
You can find more joy, peace, and happiness in your daily life.
You can live more connected to your intuition and creativity.
You can learn to trust and follow your heart and how to find your inner courage.
You can learn how to break free of fear so you can leap towards a bold, abundant life.

I’m still learning.
I’m still stumbling and fumbling and tripping along the way.
Let’s do it together.

Watch the video to learn more of what has helped change my life from one gripped with fear, to one that’s like…what the hell…let’s go for it.

What is going really well in your life?
What are the habits that keep repeating?

What are you ready to break free from?

Email me and share a little of YOUR story.  I want to hear from you!

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take good care of your heart

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you can change your life

Maybe you want to get rid of the clutter in your life.
Maybe you want to connect to other like-minded women.
Maybe you want to make space in your busy life to nourish your creativity.
Maybe you want to invite more peace, simplicity and ease into your day.
Maybe you want more stillness and less busy.
Maybe you want to find time to do what you love.
Maybe you want to feel more joy.
Maybe you want to nurture your inner dreams, or be more present, or live with intention and purpose.

Whatever it is, YOU CAN change your life.

Start today.

Join us for Inside Out: A Creative Adventure of Self-Discovery!

This 5-week online experience has helped hundreds of women face their fears so they could find the courage to live a more authentic, connected, abundant life.
To learn more, visit here.

Questions? Email me and I’m so happy to chat more.
Class begins January 26th!

Winners Announced:

Thanks to those of you who took the time to share my new Being a Mom music video!

The winners of my random drawing for 3 spots for the next session of Inside Out are:

Debbie Hines, Jessica Naccari and Karen Skelton!

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how to find peace this holiday season

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I want you to be everything that’s you, deep at the center of your being.

~ Confucious

Thank you for being here!  I hope you are enjoying some nice family time and a happy holiday weekend (for those of you who celebrate Thanksgiving).

Not sure how you feel about Black Friday and Cyber Monday, but I’m kind of tired of the emails, the commercials and the ads that are fighting for my attention and trying to get me to buy, buy, buy, more, more, more!

There is just so much NOISE out there
And sometimes, I find that the constant distractions in the world make me feel cloudy, stressed, confused and even lost. Do you ever feel this way?

Life throws a lot at us. It’s quite easy to get knocked off center again and again and again. And I’m seeing that part of the practice in mindful living is learning how to get back there, because it’s in this peaceful, present moment space where your pure love, JOY and contentment are always within reach.

Not outside…but within.

So what exactly does it mean to find center?

Your very essence – who you really are – is at your center. When you find center, it’s like going to the place where you feel at home. It’s when you feel most present. It’s when you feel in the flow. It’s where you feel…peace.

Making a connection each day to this inner place will remind you what matters most in your life.
When you get distracted and stressed and overwhelmed, it’s important to have awareness of your center – and know how to get back there.

Whether you are full of joy during the holidays, or they bring you dread, it’s all too easy to get swept away by outward pressures to be more, do more, buy more, and give more. When we fight feelings of not doing or being enough, it’s almost inevitable we’ll end up over-committing or over-eating or over-spending to feel better in the short term.

Finding center and remembering what matters most is about being a part of life, but not getting consumed by it.

We can go to the mall or buy gifts for friends and family, without spending our grocery money. We can create a “to do” list and set intentions to make gifts, but we can also be realistic that we can’t do it all. We can indulge in sweets and the fun food of the season without bursting at the seams and feeling sick afterwards. We can volunteer and be of service without sacrificing our own needs. We can say “no” and let go of “shoulds” and feel ok with not over-doing-it, because we come from a grounded place of love and peace (not a confusing place led by regret, worry and fear).

This is what happens when you stay connected to center.

The more you become aware of your center, and recognize what knocks you off or triggers you, the easier it is to get back to a more grounded, compassionate place. It’s this connection to center that helps you feel an inner peace, when the anxiety and overwhelm creep in. It’s this connection to center that allows you to feel more calm, even when the outer world is seemingly moving at lightening speed.

It’s this connection to center that reminds you how to love and how to be kind – to others AND to yourself.
Be kind to yourself this holiday season.

Eliminate the noise.
Slow down.
Find stillness.
Connect to your center.
Free your spirit.
Love yourself.
Change your life.

I appreciate you deeply…

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Interested in learning tools & techniques on how to stay connected to your center?

Join us for Inside Out: A Creative Adventure of Self-Discovery!

Learn how to listen to and trust your intuition, and how to cultivate the courage you need to live out your inner dreams so you can be yourself and create a life you love living every single day.
Visit HERE for all the details.

You will receive a FREE Inside Out audio book at the end of our course just for signing up!

(Gift certificates available and past Inside Out grads get a discount.)

i love happy art journaling challenge (& podcast #3)

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I had an amazing day yesterday.

I spent the morning at the farmer’s market with my boys, then took my 3-year-old to gymnastics. Both boys took a long nap at the same time (which never happens) and I listened to a podcast and got really inspired about some new creative business ideas.

Later, the kids played together after we picked up my 6-year-old from school. I made butternut squash soup and roasted beet salad for dinner.

Everyone was in a great mood.

Of course, it’s not always like this. But yesterday, everything just seemed to flow.

After dinner we went on a family walk in the woods and around our neighborhood lake. I was walking a little faster then the boys and at one point I just stopped to watch them. The sun was setting. The lake was still. The temperature was perfect. The baby on my back was waving to his daddy and brothers and in that moment I felt completely elated. Peaceful, really.

It was a moment of pure bliss…joy…HAPPINESS.

And then I thought, “I never want this moment to end.”

For a few seconds my mind started freaking out as it tried to grasp time and space.

I caught myself.
Took a breath.
Returned to the moment.
Simply watched the boys walk up the hill.
Listened to the sweet sound of their voices.
Felt complete gratitude in my heart.
And soaked it up.

My mind tried to hold on to what felt like a perfect moment to keep it forever.

But we know that’s impossible. Life is ever changing. It’s all so temporary. So to try to grasp and cling and hold on to any moment sets us up for potential sadness, disappointment or anxiety.

The practice is to see the happy in the every day moments of life.

To appreciate them. To feel them deeply. To not miss all the beauty and joy that is happening around us all the time.

 

Life is a gift.

YOUR life is a gift.

To celebrate this gift called life, I’m hosting a challenge this October to inspire us all to slow down and see the happy in our crazy, busy days.
Please join me for the FREE I Love Happy Art Journaling Challenge for Moms (moms-to-be and grandmothers, too) in October.

Together, for two weeks, we will celebrate the special every day moments of happy in our day, while we nurture our creativity and connect more deeply with our intuition and inner wisdom.

VISIT HERE to watch the new Mothering with heART video podcast #3 for more details about this fun, free art journaling challenge!

To join the challenge, click the link below:

Yes! Sign me up to join moms from around the world for the I Love Happy Art Journaling Challenge!

Hug your loved ones.
Stop gripping the past.
Stop reaching for the future.

And see your happy right here and NOW.

I appreciate you.

mothering with heart podcast #2 (& winner announced)

Today I’m sharing my newest Mothering with heART video podcast.

This episode touches on the topic of slowing down, self-care and knowing when you’re reaching your breaking point.

These videos are simply a glimpse of my personal reflections in the moment. They are unedited, unscripted, unplanned…baby babbling and nature sounds in the background for your added pleasure.

I hope you find this video journal inspiring. Share with me! Subscribe to my new Youtube channel, post a comment or email me privately.

And check my A Free Spirit Life Facebook page to see the winner of one month of e-coaching with me (more details about my monthly life-coaching services coming soon). Thanks to all of you who filled out a survey. If you’d still like to share your ideas, visit the link below.

Mothering with heART Survey 
I appreciate you deeply.
Take care of yourself today…and always.
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Your Personal Reflection:

Do you have a morning ritual that supports your needs? How can you nurture and take good care of yourself to feel more balance in your daily life? Do you know what truly nurtures your soul?

Take some time this week to notice how you feel. Slow down. Find a moment of stillness and check in with your body. Do you feel tension in your head, neck or shoulders? Some nervousness in your stomach? Are you feeling healthy and vibrant or a little run down? Notice those feelings – without judgment. Be kind to yourself. Simply listen to what they are trying to tell you. Journal about it!

mothering with heart video podcast #1 – facing fears

Don’t be afraid of your fears. They’re not there to scare you. They’re there to let you know that something is worth it.

                 ~ C. JoyBell C.

Hey there!

Talk about facing fear…

I’m jumping right in with this whole video podcast journaling thing and I have no idea what I’m doing. It’s always a vulnerable feeling putting yourself out there.

But here it goes.

I feel the desire to speak directly to you. To connect with YOU on a deeper level. Will you join me?

Subscribe to my New Youtube channel and see my first Mothering with heART Podcast.

Let me know what you think.

Do you have questions you’d like me to talk about? 
Share your ideas and thoughts with me! I’m happy to address your questions in my next video. Simply leave a comment or email me directly.

There is still time to fill out my new Mothering with heART survey! You will be entered to win one month of life coaching with me if you are interested. (I’ll pick a winner next week.)
Visit HERE to share your thoughts – it’s short – I promise!

Happy weekend!

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Your Personal Reflection:

What are you afraid of?
How can you let that fear help move you towards your creative dreams?

balancing motherhood, new youtube channel & your chance to win coaching

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This photo pretty much summarizes what I’ve been doing since unplugging back in June.

Summer is officially over and 1st grade is in full swing. I’ll admit, the first few weeks of our new school routine felt like a shocking jolt to our little family unit. We had a full and relaxing summer. And then the first day of school came at the reluctance of my 6-year-old, which resulted in lots of tears, resistance and meltdowns (from me too).

As I saw all the darling new school photos on Facebook, I joked with my husband that our “first day of school” photo was my oldest son hiding under a blanket!

Now that we are back in the groove and my little guy has been not only warming up to school, but actually getting excited to go, my anxiety level has lessened considerably, too. (Wow, that “mama bear gene” can get activated during times like these.)

I’m feeling excited and ready to get back to some of my creative e-courses and new online offerings yet to come!

And I need your help.

Please take just a few minutes to fill out the following survey and you’ll be entered in a drawing to win one month of free email life-coaching with me.

I need you because I’m creating some new experiences just for YOU. And only YOU know what you really need in this stage of your life. Please share with me!

Click HERE to fill out this very short Mothering with heART survey.

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New Free Spirit TV Youtube Channel Coming Soon

I stay home with 3 little boys full-time.

And my heart has to be creative – outside my life as “mom”. I have to continue my A Free Spirit Life creative business in the midst of this crazy life of motherhood.

Join me as I experiment with sharing a new video journal about my journey as a mother, and how we can – together – continue supporting each other to mother with courage, compassion and creativity.

Visit HERE to subscribe to my new free channel.

Happy day!

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