I’m not gonna lie. Last night was kinda crazy. The boys were super hyped before bed. And I let their energy really get to me. And then I started acted kinda crazy. Once we all fell asleep the craziness continued. Ashy is teething so he was up every hour. Kestan woke up crying in need of some extra snuggle time, which of course woke up Ashton just moments after I finally got him back to sleep. And it seemed like between that and my own thoughts, the interruptions continued throughout the night.
I woke up asking myself, What am I doing? What AM I doing? And then, as if a light bulb went off, something switched. A new thought emerged. I smiled and said, I surrender. And in the morning I got up from bed feeling as if a deep shift had taken place.
This slowing down thing seems to have merit. Creating space is turning out to be a very good thing for me. And I’m understanding that the more I stop trying to control the outcome of things, my environment and the people in my life, the easier it is to surrender to what IS and man, that makes my heart feel a whole lot lighter.
I struggle to find balance between the love of my creative endeavors and the love of being home with my children. And for some reason, the light bulb switch – the declaration that I surrender – has helped me see some clarity about this topic that I’ve had a hard time seeing until now. Things they are a-changin’.
And in the middle of things today, I picked up Karen Maezen Miller’s book, Hand Wash Cold. I literally had two minutes to read a few pages when the following sentence spoke to me – “Only when our hands and head are empty do we discover what we’ve been aching to find.” That pretty much says it all. Ahhh…I surrender.
I sat there and felt the deep shift settle in. And a few moments later Kestan brought me a “mountain sandwich cookie boo” that he created out of Play-Doh – the perfect thing to get me out of my head and into my heart.
So as part of my Thirty Days of Giving Thanks, I thanked my yoga guru for his amazing guidance and teachings he’s shared with me over the last 10 years. And I thanked author, Karen Maezen Miller, for sharing her beautiful wisdom and goodness with me and the world.
Your Personal Reflection: Have you ever read something or seen a piece of art or experienced a teaching that created a shift in your awareness? Take a moment to thank that writer, artist or teacher (or child) this week.