i love happy is…
feeling vulnerable about all the imperfections coming to the surface,
and loving the freedom that comes from letting go.
I’ve been feeling mixed emotions about moving. I’m having a hard time letting go of our home. This is where we started our family and we have created many wonderful memories here. It’s where I feel the most comfortable.
The new house is small and needs some work. It’s going to take some love, care, vinegar, lemons and some patience to make it feel like ours. We had the inside and out painted all last week and it does feel like a fresh, clean start.
But today I went over there and noticed all the imperfections of the place. The spilled paint, the crooked light fixture, the dirt and leaves and sticks… And it spiraled from there as I talked to my husband about all the work yet needed to be done.
And then it hit me. As two (slowly) recovering perfectionists, we both are having a hard time moving into a place that doesn’t feel…well…perfect. In fact, it’s far from it. We didn’t buy it for the house, but really for the land, the lake and the vision we have of what the house will be someday. But if we can’t get over the fact that “someday” isn’t here yet, then moving is going to be especially challenging.
What this experience is doing is forcing us to face our imperfections head on. The stack of boxes to go through, the broken fixtures, the wood rot, the scratched up sink… It ain’t pretty, but it’s the reality of what we face right now. There’s no hiding it. There’s no running from it. There’s no looking back.
The house we are buying is imperfect. The neighborhood we’re moving to is imperfect. The home we are selling is imperfect (although cute as hell). And all of these things are symbols of our imperfections, too.
I’m starting to really like being imperfect. It’s rather freeing, don’t you think?
So as I continue walking forward through this transition of moving, I look to the big, blue sky and trust. I will practice focusing on the beauty and blessings, and embrace the nicks, the spills and the imperfections. Because this new house is beautifully imperfect and so am I.
Your Personal Reflection:
Do you get caught up in focusing on the things about you and your life that need fixing, rather than noticing all the wonderful things about you and your life that are working?
Take a moment to inhale, smile and exhale as you practice letting go of striving for perfection, and instead embrace, love and celebrate the beautiful imperfections in YOU.
I have to tell you that we moved into our home in Jan. 2007 right before we had Elias. We bought it because of the land (space) around the house and the potential for what it could be. The house has lots of character and we still have a long list of things we would like to do to make it “ours”. Some projects I am glad it has taken us awhile to get to because we have been able to stew with our dreams and really solidify what we like and want.
But to be honest, the lists could go on and on. Old houses, big yards they have LOTS of potential! haha I find we have a rhythm to our changes and as long as it is safe- we can be okay with imperfection. Just last night I got to see our house in the moonlight and exclaimed how beautiful it was.
I can relate to your perfectionist tendencies, as well as to the terrible habit of focusing too much on all of the imperfections in my life far too often.
A few weeks ago, I was terribly unhappy; my job is far from satisfying & I am terribly underpaid for the work I’m expected to do; my romantic relationship felt as though it was on its last string; my 16 year son has begun acting out and my worries had grown so much that they were making me feel literally ill each day. I talked about it, to my sisters and my mom and my friends. And then one day I realized something.
All the ‘talking’ about it was just making everything worse. Not to mention that talking was all I was doing, which was certainly not doing anything to make it better. It made me feel as though I had no control over my life, over the things I felt were happening ‘to me’.
So I decided to simply quit talking. My job hasn’t changed, my relationship hasn’t changed and my son is still acting out. But now, since I’m not talking about it all the time, it really isn’t as bad as I thought. The problems that seemed overwhelming to me at first began to weaken as I went through my day making an effort to not talk about it all.
Life is imperfect. There will always be something that needs to be better. But our outlook on it all is what affects us more than anything.