“Wow, you are really big! How much weight have you gained? Are you sure you aren’t having twins? Your belly is huge. You’ve gotten way bigger in the last week! Whoa, when are you due? You look so much bigger than your first pregnancy. Looks like you’ll be having this baby any day now.”
Seriously. I’ve heard all of these comments in the last few weeks. Let’s just think about it for a minute. Would we say these to anyone who wasn’t pregnant? Then why do we feel it’s OK, appropriate and downright expected to say such statements to a hormonal, hot, out-of-breath, can’t-find-anything-that-fits, gotta-pee-every-second, tired, swollen feet and yes…BIG mama!?
We know we are big! We know our bellies, breasts and other parts are expanding! We know we are adding a pound a week. But do we really want to hear this from everyone we encounter in a day? Do we want this to be pointed out in the grocery store, at morning playgroup or at the family wedding? Can we talk about something else PLEASE, anything else, other than (what feels like) my ginormous body?
Don’t get me wrong – I’m very proud of my growing belly. Feeling so deeply connected to the life inside of me is the greatest gift in the whole world. In fact, I tell him everyday to get bigger and bigger. I love that I’m getting bigger because I know he is, too.
I just want to speak up for all those pregnant women who have to put up with the fact that our weight seems to be the topic of every conversation we’re in.
And I also know that most people who say these comments have the best intentions in mind. I don’t think they are saying it maliciously – sometimes we just don’t know what else to say.
Here’s my suggestion – give a compliment. “You look beautiful today. You are glowing. You are going to be the best mom. I’m so excited to see what your precious little soul will be like.” And it’s going to be up to us to accept and receive these compliments. Rather than saying, “Oh…I feel like a cow,” say, “Thank you. I really appreciate it.”
Your Personal Reflection: Give someone (pregnant or not) a compliment today. It will make them smile and it will make you feel good, too.