i love happy is…

 feeling the fear that comes from change,

and walking forward,

even towards the dark places,

 knowing that the blue sky is beyond the trees,

and that the light will shine brighter once again.

Getting ready to move from a home I love, into a more wooded, secluded environment is bringing up a lot of fear in me.  I am learning that I’m much more of a city girl than I realized! The house we bought sat vacant for a while, so of course the critters – like spiders and black (harmless) snakes – have found their way inside.  AND THAT HAS BEEN FREAKING ME OUT.  I’ve had some restless nights…especially about the spiders. How can I bring my babies into a place like that?  I’ve even considered staying put.  Um, never mind, I don’t think I want to move.  I’ll stay here in my clean, very comfortable home, thank you very much.  And you know, that’s what happens when fear grips us.

We have two choices when the fear creeps in – to accept it and walk through it, or to avoid it and stay put.  And I know that I could easily sit back and stay in that comfortable place, but that’s not where the true growth happens.  We want to raise our boys in nature.  I’m so thrilled to have the opportunity to move to bigger land.  And really, as long as we are prepared and mindful, we can show those spiders who’s boss.

No matter what, leaving what’s comfortable, letting go of “things,” saying good-bye to neighbors, and moving to a home and neighborhood that doesn’t quite feel like “ours” yet is scary.  But it doesn’t mean that it isn’t right.  I know it’s time to move.  It does feel right.  This new space is AMAZING.  And feeling comfortable after change does take time, but it will happen.

My practice in all of this is to embrace the fear, let it be a motivation for change and to walk kindly and slowly through it, so that it doesn’t keep me gripped, stagnant and scared to move forward.  I feel curious. I feel excited.  I feel anxious.  I feel unsure.  I feel unsettled.  I feel uprooted.  I feel blessed.  I feel grateful.  And I’m choosing to walk forward anyway.

Your Personal Reflection:

What fear are you ready to accept and embrace?  Allow yourself to move through the uncomfortable places so you can walk forward.  You never know what’s on the other side until you try.